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AudiobookTwenty years into her marriage, Kat and her husband faced head-on the great underlying fear of most monogamous people: My partner wants to have sex with other people. For them, that truth led to a rollercoaster of new sexual and romantic adventures...
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Non-monogamous people spend extra time communicating with multiple partners in multiple forms, from the simple 'good morning' to setting up dates to having sexy chat time to talking about challenging feelings and even breaking up.
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Though in some ways it is as simple as popping a dildo in a harness and getting to work, strap-on sex tends to be a bit more nuanced than we expect when starting out.
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People whose identities don't conform to the norms within a community often feel isolated from that community. Figuring out how to fit in when you don't hew to the line of a group is an incredible challenge.
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Eventually the game got a sexier and we all started having to do little dares that got more and more intimate - a lap dance here, some inner thigh kissing there.
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Going to different cities and countries is always amazing, but going to different places and having sex with people: that takes the amazing factor up to a whole new level.
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I'm presenting myself as an object in those moments for my partners (or instagram followers) because it feels good to me. I'm opting-in to objectification in that situation.
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I'd expected that a group that had shrugged off the societal rules of marriage = monogamy would be far less willing to embrace the sexist gender roles shoved down our throats at every turn.
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G was pressed up behind me, T was cuddled against my chest while Flick ate her pussy, and someone was fingering me. I didn't know who it was. It was probably the most delicious, hedonistic moment of my life.
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