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AudiobookTwenty years into her marriage, Kat and her husband faced head-on the great underlying fear of most monogamous people: My partner wants to have sex with other people. For them, that truth led to a rollercoaster of new sexual and romantic adventures...
Intimacy is incredibly difficult for me. Talking and socializing and revealing myself personally is much more intimate and vulnerable than sex is for me. I definitely need to feel like I have a social rapport before I have sex, but basically once I've established the other person I'm attracted to isn't a psycho, or a Republican, I'm good to go.
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I would expect the freaking-out nerves to desensitize to stimulation with repetition but each experience they react like they've never been touched before, my leg goes numb, I panic and can't imagine how it could ever feel good, unless I wait and breathe through a two-hour process and we eventually get to it feeling great.
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I'm presenting myself as an object in those moments for my partners (or instagram followers) because it feels good to me. I'm opting-in to objectification in that situation.
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One of the main things I'd been excited about exploring when we started our non-monogamy journey was my uncharted kinky side. Flick and I had done a small amount of experimenting over our relationship but it was limited in scope and hadn't happened for approximately a decade.
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Iris and I asked around to various women we know to see who might be interested in such shenanigans and were able to gather a group of five adventurous souls who were down to fuck me senseless.
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We're breaking down a number of different sources of stress in non-monogamy as well as some of the ways we manage, cope with, and process that stress so we can focus on the positive and get the most out of sharing the love.
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Curse you, green-eyed monster! I was so smug that I'd beaten you. Turns out you don't go down without a real fight.
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Fast forward approximately 17 years and I was finally able to take that optimistically & prematurely purchased harness for a spin, first with a few women, but eventually for its intended deviant purpose. Woo hoo!
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